Hardington pantos have been amusing us since 1985. This year, for the 25^th anniversary celebration, the

Hardington Players took a break from tradition, and David Cleaton wrote not a panto but a non-panto.  This was David’s first attempt as writer/director, so quite a challenge for him, although he clearly enjoyed it. The advertisements displayed around the village may have caused consternation with exhortations to ‘Save our panto!’, but this was just to whet your appetite. The utmost secrecy surrounded the preparations, so that no-one not  in the ‘Not the Hardington panto’ (confused yet?) knew what to expect.

As the lights went out in the crowded Hall, the disembodied voice of the Master of the Red Tape boomed out, accompanied by apocalyptic thunder and lightning, and the scene was set for a rather different sort of entertainment: in a world dominated by red tape and ‘elf and safety’, the future of Hardington pantomime is under threat, and the characters themselves doomed. The plot mixes fantasy with reality, as the people from Pantoland (just down the road from Hardington) team up with with the Hardington villagers to outwit bureaucracy.

For me, the undoubted star of the show was Elsa Hedges, as a quite suberb Mme Jobs Werthy, whose French accent never faltered, and whose comical interaction with the audience had everyone laughing. Karen Brown, as Policeman Plod, disguised by magnificent handlebar moustachios, was the other great comic turn, especially with her rendition of the G&S favourite A Policeman’s Lot Is not a Happy One. I have to say that this year the girls get all my top votes, as Maggs Soulsby, in full local yokel mode, was on good form, and Tanya’s Tappers brought the house down with Singin’ in the Rain. Lucy Vincent’s  ‘good fairy’ was bang up-to-date as Lily the Pink, while Dan Wells, honorary female (that’s a compliment, Dan), remodelled, with great panache, the traditional Dame part into a tarty blonde glamour girl, and Karen Clotworthy, real-life female, was transformed into an appealing pooch.

The children were, as always, charming to watch. The Mini Snoopers - Molly, Sophie, Megan, Rachel, Polly and George did good snooping to the Hitchcock theme tune, and the Red Tapers – Liberty, Nicky, Chloe, Harriet, Isabel and Maia -  were masked and menacing . Tanya Ogden’s choreography seems to bring out the best in them all. Tanya and Jessica (as Cinderella) also made a delightful duo.

David Beckley’s Merlin was a wizard turn, the quickness of his hands deceiving all eyes. Andrew Middleton, as M Bew Rochracy, was a worthy foil for Elsa, and they had us hissing and booing at almost every pronouncement. I would have liked a bit more fear factor introduced by the horrible pair, perhaps with a ‘disposal machine’ for them to really threaten the panto characters. Derek Richards would have designed something frighteningly large and noisy!

The Pantoland characters and the villagers all helped to make this a very jolly performance. The whole cast seemed to be having lots of fun, and this encouraged the audience to be extra vociferous with the ‘Oh no, he’s not’ stuff (yes, I know this was not a panto, but there were lots of similarities!). Elaine Peters’ music and Jim Lefeuvre’s spectacular sound effects added immeasurably to the event as did Helen Spearing’s dramatic lighting. Wardrobe Mistress Rachel Hawke and her team dressed the cast to perfection. The last song, Wendy Simmonds’ clever version of My Way, explained to the audience exactly what the Hardington Players had been trying to achieve in going ‘Their Way’.

As always, Derek Richards designed excellent sets, and the backstage crew led by Jack Clotworthy, operated with their usual smooth efficiency. The other invisible behind-the-scenes stalwarts ­- grappling with lights, make-up, costume changes and the myriad things which are essential, all deserve praise.

And finally – thanks again to Daphne for running the Box Office and congratulations to producer Anne Lunt who is inexhaustibly calm and capable.